Being Appreciated For All You Do
Being appreciated as a mom feels like a far-fetched idea until we put it in perspective. No one organizes a parade when you are done washing dishes, cleaning the house, paying the bills, and bathing all the kids. Those tasks are just expected of you because you are the matriarch of the household. Then you get to wake up the next morning and do it all over again. Maybe with even more cleaning because the kids made a mess…again. Mindset Shifting our mindset to a more graceful and grateful attitude can help with our feelings of unappreciation. Your family loves you, but it is hard for them to always show their gratitude because like all of us…they live in their own little world. You may be asking yourself… “easier said than done, how do I even begin to shift my mindset?” Steps to Shifting Perspective “No one does as much as I do,” “No one helps around the house” – It sounded like “Eeyore” had moved into our house. This does not change behavior, it helps alienate your family members from you. They tend to avoid angry moms, and the behaviors you want to change never get better at all. Breathe and watch your words. You do not have to believe every thought in your head. You also do not have to verbalize every thought…it only perpetuates negative thinking. Communication and setting an accepting tone for your family is key to creating a peaceful, healthy environment. Will it be perfect every day. Of course not. You cannot control everyone’s bad moods; you can only control how you react to them. Much love to you and many blessings. From one woman to another, I thank you for all you do to raise young future leaders, and move a family, no matter what size it may be, closer to God, kindness, and love.
Peace of Mind with Less Stuff
Have you ever felt anxious and frustrated at home more than any place else? I started feeling this anxiety when I was in my house more so, than at work or out with friends. I found myself finding excuses to leave my home for another appointment, or a shopping outing. Then I realized it was the stuff in my house causing my stress. When we have too many things to manage, life is more stressful. I started listening to the Minimal Mom podcast and I loved the way she described minimalism in such a way that was doable for my lifestyle. She made me want to clear my stuff – to clear my mind. This desire to have more and more is futile. I am now in my mid-40’s and I spent most of my 20’s and 30’s chasing goals, ambitions, and this dream of what I thought a happy life looked like to me. That perpetual rat race got me chronic stress and constant worry. The Bible states “You work and worry your way through life, and what do you have to show for it?” Ecclesiastes 2:22 This quote was said by David’s son, a King of Jerusalem, in his older age. He is reflecting on how meaningless life can be if you only seek material worldly gifts. We are in such a material world full of influencers, celebrities, and friends and family telling us we need the next big thing to feel worthy of love and happiness. I try to focus on my spiritual and moral growth as a Christian mom and wife and less on comparing myself to others. That’s the beauty of humanity. We all have our own stories to tell and we all come from different experiences and yet we all yearn for the same things – human interaction and hope. In this book of the Bible, the author realizes “it is better to have only a little, with peace of mind, than be busy all the time with both hands, trying to catch the wind.” Ecclesiastes 4:6 This view is the opposite of the “hustle culture” we are in today. So on the days I feel stressed and it seems like everything is bothering me in my house, I start with a trash bag and a sweep of my house. Living with two kids, a husband, three dogs, and multiple family friends visiting on the regular.. our house can get out of place quickly. Just doing that quick scan for trash and things we don’t need and trashing, recycling, or donating items helps so much to relax my mind and my space. When you have more time, a deep decluttering of closets and drawers trains your brain to let go of material objects. I found myself having more time for “me time” when I decluttered. The Minimal Mom, Dawn Madsen says it well in one of her episodes – maybe at this time in your life, you are only supposed to manage a small amount of items. In another season of life, it may be different. I hope you take the advice of the book of Ecclesiastes and slow down and enjoy life with the ones you love because that is what life is truly about -God and love.