Being Appreciated For All You Do
Being appreciated as a mom feels like a far-fetched idea until we put it in perspective. No one organizes a parade when you are done washing dishes, cleaning the house, paying the bills, and bathing all the kids. Those tasks are just expected of you because you are the matriarch of the household. Then you get to wake up the next morning and do it all over again. Maybe with even more cleaning because the kids made a mess…again. Mindset Shifting our mindset to a more graceful and grateful attitude can help with our feelings of unappreciation. Your family loves you, but it is hard for them to always show their gratitude because like all of us…they live in their own little world. You may be asking yourself… “easier said than done, how do I even begin to shift my mindset?” Steps to Shifting Perspective “No one does as much as I do,” “No one helps around the house” – It sounded like “Eeyore” had moved into our house. This does not change behavior, it helps alienate your family members from you. They tend to avoid angry moms, and the behaviors you want to change never get better at all. Breathe and watch your words. You do not have to believe every thought in your head. You also do not have to verbalize every thought…it only perpetuates negative thinking. Communication and setting an accepting tone for your family is key to creating a peaceful, healthy environment. Will it be perfect every day. Of course not. You cannot control everyone’s bad moods; you can only control how you react to them. Much love to you and many blessings. From one woman to another, I thank you for all you do to raise young future leaders, and move a family, no matter what size it may be, closer to God, kindness, and love.
Managing Our Money
When I was in my 20’s, I was fortunate enough to have a good job. I also started a new side hustle, which has allowed me to earn more income. Although I earned more money, I did not handle my financial blessings wisely. Looking back now, I think I was so uncomfortable with having money in the bank that I thought of any way to spend it. I helped family members with their bills, with new cars, and I went out and had fun a lot. Focus on Your Family Needs Before Others It’s amazing to help your family, but when the timing is right. I was sitting on a house of cards. I had a good income, but no discipline to manage it properly. This is the mistake I am trying to get my kids to avoid when they are young adults. When I look back at all the money I could have saved and how much good I could have done by giving. It makes me regretful. Giving Today, though, is a new day, and every day we can do better. Have you ever heard of the word stewardship? Stewardship is the management of things. In a Christian sense, it is the management of all that belongs to God. In a financial sense, our money belongs to God. If we are blessed to have money in our bank accounts, we need to be good stewards of that money. Money can be a blessing for the good it can do, or a curse if we do not manage it properly. When I was young, I never budgeted my money; I just paid bills, used credit cards for random spending, and I couldn’t even tell you what I spent that money on. I had a ton of fun with my friends and just lived for the present. Don’t get me wrong… I’m not saying we should not spend money on fun experiences and things. Just spend responsibly by saving, budgeting, and tithing or giving. Growing and Learning Better Ways to Manage Money I have learned so much by reading, practicing, and learning new habits to be better with money. Any of the books by Dave Ramsey have been very helpful in establishing a foundation. I know a lot of people either love Dave Ramsey’s advice or totally disagree and don’t follow it. Personally, it has helped me focus on getting out of debt and saving money. Recently, I have read Simple Money, Rich Life by blogger and podcaster Bob Lotich. Great read with lots of excellent advice and habits to incorporate. The main lesson is to act today to make tomorrow better. Think of one step you can take today to move you in the right direction. Now go do it.
Peace of Mind with Less Stuff
Have you ever felt anxious and frustrated at home more than any place else? I started feeling this anxiety when I was in my house more so, than at work or out with friends. I found myself finding excuses to leave my home for another appointment, or a shopping outing. Then I realized it was the stuff in my house causing my stress. When we have too many things to manage, life is more stressful. I started listening to the Minimal Mom podcast and I loved the way she described minimalism in such a way that was doable for my lifestyle. She made me want to clear my stuff – to clear my mind. This desire to have more and more is futile. I am now in my mid-40’s and I spent most of my 20’s and 30’s chasing goals, ambitions, and this dream of what I thought a happy life looked like to me. That perpetual rat race got me chronic stress and constant worry. The Bible states “You work and worry your way through life, and what do you have to show for it?” Ecclesiastes 2:22 This quote was said by David’s son, a King of Jerusalem, in his older age. He is reflecting on how meaningless life can be if you only seek material worldly gifts. We are in such a material world full of influencers, celebrities, and friends and family telling us we need the next big thing to feel worthy of love and happiness. I try to focus on my spiritual and moral growth as a Christian mom and wife and less on comparing myself to others. That’s the beauty of humanity. We all have our own stories to tell and we all come from different experiences and yet we all yearn for the same things – human interaction and hope. In this book of the Bible, the author realizes “it is better to have only a little, with peace of mind, than be busy all the time with both hands, trying to catch the wind.” Ecclesiastes 4:6 This view is the opposite of the “hustle culture” we are in today. So on the days I feel stressed and it seems like everything is bothering me in my house, I start with a trash bag and a sweep of my house. Living with two kids, a husband, three dogs, and multiple family friends visiting on the regular.. our house can get out of place quickly. Just doing that quick scan for trash and things we don’t need and trashing, recycling, or donating items helps so much to relax my mind and my space. When you have more time, a deep decluttering of closets and drawers trains your brain to let go of material objects. I found myself having more time for “me time” when I decluttered. The Minimal Mom, Dawn Madsen says it well in one of her episodes – maybe at this time in your life, you are only supposed to manage a small amount of items. In another season of life, it may be different. I hope you take the advice of the book of Ecclesiastes and slow down and enjoy life with the ones you love because that is what life is truly about -God and love.
Faith to Begin: My Journey
Faith Journey I grew up in a non-practicing Catholic family. Everyone was Catholic except we didn’t go to church. Well except for the occasional baptism, wedding, or funeral. Weekly Mass was not practiced at all. Sundays were for relaxation, football games, and projects around the house. I always believed in God and even the Trinity, but my understanding was weak. Religion has always been an interesting topic for me. I had friends of all different religions, and regularly checking out books about Buddhism, Christianity, and different ways of life was my college extracurricular activity. In one word, I was spiritually confused. I was missing a critical faith foundation, which I believe is a crucial component against life’s obstacles. Faith is the answer to ALL worries, angst, and general adolescent concerns. I didn’t start practicing and understanding more about Catholicism until I was engaged to a Catholic young man – my good friend I grew up with through high school. To be married in the church I started my journey in classes, and ultimately being baptized, accepting communion, and confirming all in one special Easter Mass. Little did I know, my understanding of the faith and the purpose God has for me, is an ongoing journey of faith. It doesn’t stop at the sacrament of Communion. It is only the beginning. formed.org is a great resource to get started learning in your faith journey. Whether you are a lifelong Catholic, a newly converted Catholic, or new to Christianity all together, we all have room for expanding our capacity for faith and trust in God. It starts with prayer. Pray to open your heart to the word of God, so that when you go to Mass you may hear Him guide you. So many of us go to Mass because it is tradition, or what our parents told us to do. Some only attend Mass on Easter, Christmas, and family events like a Baptism. I challenge you to go to Mass each week intending to give thanks to God for the week of life you were able to experience. The good of the week, the struggles of the week, and the lessons of the week – bring it all to the Alter – and pray for thanks and ask for understanding with an open heart. Do this for a while.. and you will build a relationship with God, and learn how to hear his guidance. Many blessings to all of you. “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.” Numbers 6:24-26