Being Appreciated For All You Do
Being appreciated as a mom feels like a far-fetched idea until we put it in perspective. No one organizes a parade when you are done washing dishes, cleaning the house, paying the bills, and bathing all the kids. Those tasks are just expected of you because you are the matriarch of the household. Then you get to wake up the next morning and do it all over again. Maybe with even more cleaning because the kids made a mess…again. Mindset Shifting our mindset to a more graceful and grateful attitude can help with our feelings of unappreciation. Your family loves you, but it is hard for them to always show their gratitude because like all of us…they live in their own little world. You may be asking yourself… “easier said than done, how do I even begin to shift my mindset?” Steps to Shifting Perspective “No one does as much as I do,” “No one helps around the house” – It sounded like “Eeyore” had moved into our house. This does not change behavior, it helps alienate your family members from you. They tend to avoid angry moms, and the behaviors you want to change never get better at all. Breathe and watch your words. You do not have to believe every thought in your head. You also do not have to verbalize every thought…it only perpetuates negative thinking. Communication and setting an accepting tone for your family is key to creating a peaceful, healthy environment. Will it be perfect every day. Of course not. You cannot control everyone’s bad moods; you can only control how you react to them. Much love to you and many blessings. From one woman to another, I thank you for all you do to raise young future leaders, and move a family, no matter what size it may be, closer to God, kindness, and love.
Managing Our Money
When I was in my 20’s, I was fortunate enough to have a good job. I also started a new side hustle, which has allowed me to earn more income. Although I earned more money, I did not handle my financial blessings wisely. Looking back now, I think I was so uncomfortable with having money in the bank that I thought of any way to spend it. I helped family members with their bills, with new cars, and I went out and had fun a lot. Focus on Your Family Needs Before Others It’s amazing to help your family, but when the timing is right. I was sitting on a house of cards. I had a good income, but no discipline to manage it properly. This is the mistake I am trying to get my kids to avoid when they are young adults. When I look back at all the money I could have saved and how much good I could have done by giving. It makes me regretful. Giving Today, though, is a new day, and every day we can do better. Have you ever heard of the word stewardship? Stewardship is the management of things. In a Christian sense, it is the management of all that belongs to God. In a financial sense, our money belongs to God. If we are blessed to have money in our bank accounts, we need to be good stewards of that money. Money can be a blessing for the good it can do, or a curse if we do not manage it properly. When I was young, I never budgeted my money; I just paid bills, used credit cards for random spending, and I couldn’t even tell you what I spent that money on. I had a ton of fun with my friends and just lived for the present. Don’t get me wrong… I’m not saying we should not spend money on fun experiences and things. Just spend responsibly by saving, budgeting, and tithing or giving. Growing and Learning Better Ways to Manage Money I have learned so much by reading, practicing, and learning new habits to be better with money. Any of the books by Dave Ramsey have been very helpful in establishing a foundation. I know a lot of people either love Dave Ramsey’s advice or totally disagree and don’t follow it. Personally, it has helped me focus on getting out of debt and saving money. Recently, I have read Simple Money, Rich Life by blogger and podcaster Bob Lotich. Great read with lots of excellent advice and habits to incorporate. The main lesson is to act today to make tomorrow better. Think of one step you can take today to move you in the right direction. Now go do it.
Overwhelming self doubt can be paralyzing to the mind and to our relationships. To me it feels like suffocating in my own thoughts of unworthiness, paranoia and self doubt.
The Lies We Tell Ourselves All of us have a God-given purpose. We must muddle through all the lies, stories, and BS in our heads to truly understand, conclude, and implement our purpose in this world as our best selves. What makes the process so difficult is that we must sit quietly and wholeheartedly with our struggles, weaknesses, and habits and work through them… not cover them up, avoid them, or drown them out with the world’s noise. Today is particularly tough, and I want to run from my thoughts and push them aside instead of asking where these weak thoughts are coming from. Overcoming Doubts We all have vulnerabilities, doubts, and worries that we need to talk to, process, and then give up to God. We are worth so much more than what the anxiety says in our heads. Everyone, but especially moms, deal with a lot of self-doubt around parenting, working, and our relationships with our spouse, co-workers, and friends. There are so many stories out there in social media and heck, even at the PTA meeting that we are not enough, and we can do more and be richer, smarter, craftier, prettier, and just not ourselves..because that is just not good enough. We have to remind ourselves.. We got this! Through the Lord’s Grace, we can do hard things. It’s ok to not be perfect, it’s ok to doubt ourselves, just don’t let it prevent you from taking action on your goals. It’s ok to have a day where you rest and not do anything remotely productive by society’s standards. I’m here reminding myself that it is ok to not have a perfect job, perfect body, and perfect family who does exactly what I say (my family is full of opinionated, smart, witty, beautiful people). It’s ok to sit with my sadness for a day, work through it (ask for help when I need it -Betterhelp is a great tool I have used while dealing with grief), and learn how to be strong in who I am and my purpose. We can, as a society, rise above self-doubt and lift each other up in strength and love. Much love to all of you living, loving, and learning. God bless you.